Someone is mad at you. How do you acknowledge their feelings without taking responsibility for them?

The phrase, “You make me…” is so common when emotions enter a conversation that I have actually talked about it as a trigger point when I teach communication and productive conflict.

 

I wondered how other people engage in these types of landmine conversations.

 

Kevin Wash started us off by saying he has learned that he is not responsible for other people’s feelings and that he will abdicate when someone tries to blame him for their emotions. They aren’t his fault and he simply won’t be blamed for them.

 

Atif Agha then added that it is important to make sure you didn’t do something that you need to apologize for. Once you’ve determined that, are you learning from your interactions to not step in it again and again with someone?

 

Coach MJ Tolan followed up with two points. One – that if you are in a leadership position you sometimes need to help people with their emotions by creating a private space for them to vent so they can move on. And two – that there are cultural missteps you can make that will cause a problem. You need to be willing to smooth those over and learned from them.

 

From my point of view, having spent several years in a toxic relationship, I recognize pretty quickly when someone is being disproportionately angry and blaming me for it.

 

 I try to keep a level head and acknowledge that they are angry while at the same time not allowing myself to get wound up but it.

 

Do you have a method that works for you when someone is blaming you for making them angry? We would love to hear it.

 

Connect with the panelists:

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

 

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

 

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

High Performance Concierge Psychologist and Quick Hits Facilitator

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities, dignitaries and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#anger #blame #responsibility