Quick Hits

How do you create cooperation when there is no personal motivation to do so?

This conversation started out being about #cooperation but we ended up talking about #leadership. Anyone who gets a group of people to cooperate is a leader, whether they have a title or not.

 

Simon Coles started us off by saying they you have to appeal to people’s self-interest. Asking for altruism isn’t going to get you far.

 

If you’ve listened to Quick Hits for any length of time, you know I don’t think altruism is a thing.

 

Beth Hill Poulin reminded us that even with school children, you have to find that common threat that pulls everyone together. And it has to be more carrots than sticks.

 

As a community organizer, Dr Cole Galloway spends A LOT of his time trying to get people to cooperate who have more to gain personally by not doing so. Sometimes you have to find something adjacent you can work on together instead of the actual thing.

 

Cooperation comes from understanding the mission and, as Beth pointed out, sometimes it’s just easier to do the thing by cooperating than by fighting about it (although sometimes I wonder if adults get that.)

 

Do you have an tips or ideas for how to get people to work together if they don’t want to or are even motivated against doing so?

 

We would love to hear it.

 

Connect with the panelists:

Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/

CEO at Amphora Research Systems where they free scientists from the tyranny of paper. He is also the founder of Better Conversations Foundation.

 

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

 

Beth Hill Poulin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-hill-poulin/

Former school teacher now using her science brain to change lives with tactile patterns

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#motivation #carrotsandsticks

 

How do you respond when you feel awkward about someone being impressed by you?

Towards the end of this conversation I wondered what it might be like if you just said, “I feel awkward” in an “aww shucks” kind of way when someone complimented you.

 

Well, I tried it and it was a fail. The person who complimented me then went on for a full minute about why it was reasonable for her to be impressed by me. Then I felt even more awkward so I just said thank you and that is kind and tried to move the conversation along.

 

In this conversation Brooke Miles started us off by sharing there are two reasons we feel awkward when someone is impressed by us. Either we don’t believe them or we know they are right but want to try to be humble.

 

Todd Karges shared that he has struggled with negative self-talk and that makes it hard to believe someone when they are impressed with you. He also thought about it from the other side – thinking about times he has complimented someone and felt like it was rebuffed.

 

Stewart Wiggins brought up that we are taught by our culture not to be too full of ourselves, not to pat ourselves on the back.

 

(Which reminded me of one of my brothers who as a teenager would reply to any compliment by saying, “I know.”)

 

I wonder what would happen if I said something like, “I am not very good at accepting compliments, but thank you.” Maybe I will try that next time.

 

At the very last moment Stewart asked an interesting question – why do compliments from someone we know well or even love land differently (better?) than compliments from a stranger?

 

What do you do with the awkwardness when someone is impressed by you? We would love to hear it in the comments.

 

Connect with the panelists:
Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets.  He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

 

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

 

Brooke Miles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brookethemarketingpro/

Is the President of Delaware Shout Out where they teach you to outshine your competitors on social media

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am Dr Robyn. I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

What is humility and how do you keep it from holding you back?

Is it only possible for people who already have power or already have a name to be humble?

 

Being humble might just mean no one ever knows how good you are because if you aren’t talking about it no one else is either.

 

Coach MJ Tolan talked about how humility is really important for leaders. But what does it mean to be humble?

 

Lise McDonald pointed out that if you need to tell people you are humble, you’re not. And further into the conversation she shared that one way to be humble is, instead of thinking about that you’re talking about yourself, think about talking about who you serve and how you do that.

 

“You're not bragging, you're demonstrating your value, that's showing more humility.”

 

Cole Galloway is always ready to acknowledge that being a white, straight male he, and those like him, have an easier time being humble and still being carried along by the tide.

 

Sitting back and thinking, “I’ll let other people notice and then I will get rewarded” has never worked for me.

 

Connect with the panelists:
Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

 

Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an Executive Career Coach & Master Mindset Coach who helps people get career happy and life healthy

 

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am Dr Robyn. I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

#humble #humility #bragging

 

How did you learn to stand up to peer pressure?

Jim Tam started this question off by saying it depends on how important the thing is. The difference between eating at one fast food burger place versus another? Likely not worth the effort. But if it is about having a drink during dry January, that is more important.

 

Christina Kelley is a fan of having an exit strategy. Know before you get into a situation when and how you plan to leave and if all else fails, just disappear. You don’t have to announce you are leaving and say goodnight to everyone.

 

Establish your boundaries to keep yourself from being hijacked.

 

Chelle Shapiro shared that she has learned how to deal with peer pressure by making mistakes when she was younger, going along with things that she knew in her head were not going to have a good outcome.

 

Now she is better able to assert herself, recognize her boundaries and do something different.

 

I wondered about the pressure of staying out late drinking on business trips. And Jim brought up that there is a risk that if you don’t attend and “have a good time” you might not be invited next time and that could impact your professional growth opportunities.

 

He was then kind enough to share a personal story as an example.

 

Do you think it damages your career growth to not stay out “networking” with your peers until all hours of the night while at conferences or client events? How do you navigate that?

 

 

Connect with the panelists:
Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

 

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

 

Christina Kelley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christina-kelley-3a098514/

Works for Today Media helping customers reach their target audience through digital, print and events

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am Dr Robyn. I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

What does it mean to actively look for good luck?

We had a difference of opinions on the panel for this conversation and we might have had the best realization after we turned off the recording: Luck is comparative. And whether you think you have good luck or bad luck depends on who you are comparing yourself to.

 

Brandon Mahoney started us off by saying you can’t look for good luck but you can be prepared for it when it comes your way. Luck being where preparedness and timeliness meet.

 

My dissertation chair used to day Luck was where preparation and opportunity meet – same idea.

 

Then Gary Fredericks stepped right up and told us he doesn’t believe in luck at all. As in there is no such thing. (I disagree.)

 

Christopher Jerjian said he does believe that luck plays a role but you should never rely on it.

 

The reason I disagree with Gary is that I have seen many times where someone does all the hard work. They put in their time and things just don’t fall for them. They don’t get the result.

 

To not believe in luck means to lie the blame on them. Somehow they failed. The reality might be timing or missed connection or a whole host of things that we might not label “unlucky” exactly but they certainly didn’t get lucky.

 

Conversely, I’ve seen people stumble into success by accident.

 

That said, Brandon made a good point – if something worked out for you, don’t just claim it was luck. Look at the steps you took.

 

I am a firm believer that you have to do all the things and then maybe it will work out for you. Doing the things isn’t a guarantee of success. But not doing them certainly leans you in the direction of failure.

 

Do you think you can actively seek out good luck or is luck not a thing and you get to control everything?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

 

Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/

Commercial real estate for 35 years he focuses on creating spaces for small businesses

 

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

The Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

 

What makes something greedy?

We covered a lot of ground in this conversation. Does greed require someone taking something someone else needs? Can greed be victimless? Is it wanting something for nothing or simply having more than you can use?

 

Brittany Wilson started us off by saying it depended on the context and that she thought it required that you be harming someone else.

 

Tim Hawkes asked if eating an entire package of biscuits was greedy (I suggested that was gluttony). He also brought the word “intent” into the discussion.

 

Dr Bob Choat suggested that greed could be systemic and when asked to clarify he brought up water usage in California (did you know the Pepsi company buys water in CA, bottles it and sells it for a profit?)

 

If someone doesn’t take care of themselves for 20-30 years and ends up in the hospital because of it, taking up a bed that someone else needs – is that greed? How would you even begin to measure that?

 

In the end I think we ended up with more questions than answers. What do you think makes something greedy and how should it be measured?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Brittany Wilson, M.Ed.: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brittany-m-wilson1031/

She is the CEO and founder of Balance This. helping moms, dads and couples with pregnancy, post-partum and balancing the everyday chaos of family life.

 

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems.  He is in the UK

 

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics 

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#greed #selfish #takemorethanyourshare

What makes something “small talk” versus having a conversation?

Lisa McDonald started us off with the metaphor that small talk is an appetizer while a conversation in the main meal.

 

Bonnie Sussman-Versace agreed and suggested that small talk is a way to keep people at a distance. “I don’t know you so I’m not going to share anything important with you.”

 

Atif Agha had a bit of a different take saying he feels like small talk is a warmup. It lets you get to know someone a little bit and decide if you want to share more with them. He shared a story about chatting with a stranger in a Panera recently.

 

Deeper into the conversation Bonnie talked about how she used to think that small talk was a waste of time but in recent years she has come to recognize the important role it plays in relationships.

 

We did notice that if you had a parent who was likely to overshare when someone asked “how are you?” you might be more likely to not be bothered by small talk.

 

What do you think is the difference between small talk and conversation? Do you find it useful or do you think it’s a waste of time?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an Executive Career Coach & Master Mindset Coach who helps people get career happy and life healthy

 

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

 

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#smalltalk #conversation

What is the best way to appreciate someone so that it comes across as authentic?

We started with Jeff Glauser giving us three great tips:

• Be specific
• Pay attention to your nonverbal communication
• Be consistent

 

Chelle Shapiro chimed in by warning about the compliment sandwich and how it can come across as backhanded and inauthentic to tuck criticism in with praise.

 

Be Justin Dorsey works in the HR space it was great to have him bring up Love Languages. I don’t think I have ever worked in a corporation that cared about how I would like to be praised.

 

He also gave us a mid-drop. Ask. Just ask people how they would like to be appreciated. 

 

Towards the end of the conversation I wondered about how we can be better at noticing when we think positive things about someone else and making sure we share them. It must have been a hard question because I cut out a long silence while the panelists thought about it.

 

How do you like to be appreciated so they you can hear it and not feel awkward?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/

Lead HR consultant at Employer Flexible where they work with small to mid-sized companies. He has a Passion for People.

 

Jeff Glauser: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffglauser/

Owner of Brand Scribed helping business owners leverage their brand story. helping former pro athletes who are looking to transition into entrepreneurial or thought leadership roles post-retirement.

 

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#thankyou #praise #appreciation 

What is the difference between being anxious and being alert and focused?

Brandon started us off by saying he can choose to be alert and focused. He doesn’t get to choose if he is anxious or not.

 

Rabbi Yonason Goldson reminded us that anxiety and excitement manifest exactly the same way physiologically. (That is not to suggest that if you are having a panic attack it feels the same as being overly excited.)

 

Alexi Bracey added that alert and focus usually comes with a plan. You know what you want to do next. But anxiety is often accompanied by not knowing what is next; not having a map for where you’re going.

 

For me the difference is that anxiety spirals. The mind races but gets nowhere. The pattern just repeats itself and gets worse. It feels like there is no way out. Be alert and focused feels like, “I know I’m going to do this thing. I’m going to work through it and it’s going to be okay.”

 

The key is to catch that spiral before it gets out of control.

 

Do you think that anxiety has a worry aspect to it? How are alert/focused different from anxiety for you?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Rabbi Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/

The ethics Ninja and the hitchhiking Rabbi. He is a retired high school teacher. Now he helps companies create a culture of ethics and is the Founder and cofounder of two interesting podcasts

 

Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/

Cancer reversal expert focusing on health and healing from the holistic side.

 

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#anxiety #focus #calmness

How did you figure out your niche/audience?

For the first time in about 450 episodes, this conversation is so good and I believe so important, I decided not to cut it down to the usual ten minutes.

 

There is some advice you have likely heard and needs to be repeated. Rob Upchurch reminded us to sell to a person, not a huge demographic.

 

I added that having a psychographic (a type of person I work with) rather than a demographic has made a huge difference in my business. Although it is a little bit harder to find them and let them know that I and the kind of work I do, exist.

 

Kevin Wash has narrowed his “sales trainer” niche down to “a sales trainer with experience selling in different cultures.” He now gets recommended as “very good and expensive.” Which is a great place to start any negotiation.

 

Todd Karges has recently pivoted what he is doing and it in the process of developing his niche.

 

He reminded us that your audience can be very wide (e.g. My audience is executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes) but your niche can be narrow within that audience (e.g. I typically work with men over 45 (except the athletes. They skew younger.) who have been acutely focused on their success to the point of their life being quite insular and not having someone to trust and work through complex problems. If I worked for the mob, I would be the consigliere.).

 

As this conversation makes clear, you don’t get to decide your niche so much as your niche finds you based on what you bring.

 

So rather than spending SO much time figuring out who your niche is, spend time figuring out what you bring to the table. Then you can learn who needs that, can afford to pay for it and is willing to invest in your services.

 

Do you have tips we missed or questions I or my panelists could answer about finding your audience and your niche? Put them in the comments and we’ll get back to you.

 

Connect with the panelists:

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

 

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

 

Rob Upchurch: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robupchurch/

He develops and produces branded podcasts for business leaders and professional organizations

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#findyourniche#whoismyaudience