Quick Hits

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Quick Hits are 10-minute conversations designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to hear other people‘s thoughts on a variety of subjects. In February of 2021 I and the members of my mastermind group thought other people might enjoy listening in on some of the lively conversations we were having. But we realized that no one was going spend 90-minutes listening to us going on about anything and sometimes nothing. Instead, we decided to pick one topic and have a short conversation to share. I took the reigns because facilitating those types of conversations sounded like fun. Over the course of a few months it grew from just members of our mastermind group to four (sometimes three if schedules go sideways) people from various parts of the world and from ”short” to exactly 10-minutes. Thus was born ”Quick Hits” hosted by me, Dr Robyn. I hope to get caught up with posting them here on PodBean at some point. As of this writing, I have over 100 ”episodes.” If you‘d like to see the videos of these conversations, they are available on my YouTube channel: https://bit.ly/DrRobynQuickHits If you have a topic you‘d like to hear discussed, I encouraged you to use the contact page of my website: https://drrobynodegaard.com/ to let me know.

Episodes

Tuesday Apr 18, 2023

What is the difference between giving someone feedback, calling them out and scolding them?

Tuesday Apr 18, 2023

Catherine Navarro opened with a great point – it can only be feedback if you asked if someone wants feedback and got their consent before giving it to them. Unsolicited feedback fits better into the category of calling someone out.

Elissa Hecker added that scolding is never appropriate between adults. Scolding someone is meant to demean or embarrass someone. It is never meant to be helpful or useful.

(I did not add it during the conversation but I don’t think scolding is particularly useful with children either.)

Jim Tam agreed that feedback (should) be about making someone better, helping them. Scolding is reactionary. “Nobody scolds you in a positive.”

Later in the conversation he added that scolding comes from a place of hierarchy. You can only scold downward. But feedback can be done peer to peer or even to someone above you.

And Catherine shared some words we can use to say no when someone asks if they can give you feedback:

I'm not open for feedback right now.
No, I'm in a really tender place around this.
I'm not available for it actually.
No, I'm really running out of time and I have to go do X Y or Z.
I'm not open for that right now.
Oh, we can talk about it another time when I'm on the other side of this.

Did we cover all the differences between feedback, calling someone out and scolding? What do you think separates these three types of communication?

Connect with the panelists:

Catherine Navarro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachcatherinen/

She helps women get what they want in the boardroom and the bedroom.

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

#feedback #scold

Monday Apr 17, 2023

What is the difference between feeling remorse and feeling guilty?

Monday Apr 17, 2023

We realized deep into the conversation that guilt has several meanings. In the court of law, you can be guilty. That is different than feeling guilty. And different still from using guilt to manipulate someone into doing something.

At the start of the conversation Lori Donofrio-Galley suggested that remorse comes with empathy and the desire to change. Whereas guilt is something you feel about giving up on your New Year’s resolutions or doing something “bad” that no one knows so it’s somehow okay.

Tim Hawkes thought there might be a short-term/long-term difference and that maybe remorse was internal and guilt was external but wasn’t set on that being the right answer.

Jim Tam agreed that guilt was a shorter thing than remorse. He added that remorse suggests that someone else was harmed and that guilt is often self-inflicted.

Overall this was one of those conversations where it was really clear there is a difference in how remorse and guilt are used and what they mean. But getting a handle on it and explaining it well was tough to do in ten minutes.

How do you think those two words differ?

Connect with the panelists:
Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology. He is based in Dallas.

Lori Donofrio-Galley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-donofrio-galley-9a970046/

I am a first-born, Type A personality who is loyal and visionary and always finishes! Clients hire me to uncover “angles” and communicate value to produce earned media for growth.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#remorseful #guilty #dontcare

Friday Apr 14, 2023

How do you tell if you are good at something?

Friday Apr 14, 2023

Gary Fredericks stared us off by saying that you are likely good at something if you enjoy it and other people ask you to do it. (I’m not sure. That could just mean they don’t want to do it.)

A little further into the conversation Steward Wiggins asked, “who decides what good is?” A valid question certainly.

Atif Agha provided a great place to start answering that question: “…it could be cultural influence, it could be influencing with your friends, society and that defines what your moral, ethical or valuable standard is going to be.”

But then we got into the meat of the conversation –

We talked about how the more you know the more you realize you don’t know.
And how sometimes we need someone to tell us we aren’t as good as we think we are.
And sometimes we are REALLY good but we aren’t happy with it so we keep pushing.

Those three things are the crux of the question. How do you know you’re good at something if those three things could all possibly be true?

What do you think? How do you know if you’re good at something?

Connect with the panelists:

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#goodtogreat #goodenough #whatisgood

Thursday Apr 13, 2023

How do you empathize with someone when you don’t have anything in common?

Thursday Apr 13, 2023

Dr Cole Galloway started us off by pointing out that we have more in common with each other than we don’t have. Humans at the DNA level are all but identical. (I heard somewhere that if aliens looked at us, they wouldn’t be able to tell us apart, much like all ants look the same to us.)

Then Kevin Wash took it in a direction I didn’t consider when I asked the question stating: “There are several types of indecent humans who I have nothing in common with and I would have literally no interest in showing empathy with them.”

He’s right. And you can still work with someone even if you don’t agree with them and that doesn’t mean you have to empathize with their position if you disagree with it.

Stewart Wiggins pointed out that he has worked with several people who didn’t like him and who came up with excuse why opportunities didn’t come his direction. Through all of it he had to decide if he would stay or go and figured out how to survive in the work environment.

At the very end Kevin asked two questions that we will have to address in future conversations: What does empathy actually mean? And what do you expect when someone empathizes with you?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Cole Galloway

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#empathy #empathize

Wednesday Apr 12, 2023

Is it possible to be overdressed in a professional environment?

Wednesday Apr 12, 2023

The easy answer is yes. If you show up in a tux or a cocktail dress there will be questions.

But there are much more subtle issues.

Brandon Mahoney shared a story about being promoted and then wearing suits like the VPs; which alienated him from the people he was supposed to be managing. When he went back to dressing like his team, in jeans and t-shirts, the relationship got better.

Even as a consultant I have been way overdressed to be able to connect with the people I was supposed to be interviewing for an organizational development survey.

Fayaz Nagoor Shaikh suggested cracking a joke about how you are dressed to break the ice. “Why did I wear this?!?!”

Clearly it is easier for a man if he is overdressed. He can just take off his tie and maybe his jacket. As a woman, it’s a lot harder to fix that situation in the moment.

But Dr. Wayne Buckhanan made a really good point. If you dress for an interview or a first meeting in a way that isn’t you, there is a risk they will hire that person rather than who you really are. It’s better to dress authentic to yourself and let them decide if that is the person they want to have on their team.

(It should be noted that Wayne works in tech where there is a good bit a leeway in the dress codes.)

Near the end of our conversation I asked how you figure out what you should wear into a new client meeting and Brandon provided some good tips.

How big of a deal is it to be overdressed, how do you figure out what to wear and what do you do if you find yourself in a situation where you aren’t dressed appropriately?

Connect with the panelists:

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Fayaz Nagoor Shaikh: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fayaznagoor/

He is a transformation expert and a people-focused leader, building organizational capabilities through innovative, human-centric solution design

Dr. Wayne Buckhanan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/waynebuckhanan/

Geek who loves people and teaching. Recovering university professor Trainer working with human development professionals.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

Tuesday Apr 11, 2023

What is kindness?

Tuesday Apr 11, 2023

Jim Lee started us off with a really strong foundation: “Kindness is really about thinking, feeling acting and speaking with the emotional well-being of others in mind.”

Daisy Cedeño added that it is about caring, taking your time with the person in front of you and later in the conversation she shared a story about trying to be kind to someone and having them not take it that way.

Simon Coles asked if it was possible to be kind to thousands of people or if it required a personal connection.

We concluded pretty quickly that kindness is a one to one or two thing.

I wondered where the line was between being kind and allowing people to walk on you and Jim came in with a great answer - the boundary is when you stop being kind to yourself.

There is SO much in this conversation I can’t possibly do it justice in the blurb.

Watch it. Think about it. And then share what you think. Kindness is a deep subject and I’m really interested in what comes up for you.

Connect with the panelists:
James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/

Financial futurist at StratFI he has 30 years experience. Author of the book, Foresight Investing: A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade

Daisy Cedeño MS: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daisy-cede%C3%B1o-ms/

20 years being a communications coach for the Latino market and a multimedia journalist for TV and radio stations on the east coach – based in FL

Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/

CEO at Amphora Research Systems where they free scientists from the tyranny of paper. He is also the founder of Better Conversations Foundation.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#kindness #care #compassion

Monday Apr 10, 2023

How would you notice if your routine is becoming an obsession?

Monday Apr 10, 2023

Having a routine is a good thing. It makes sure you do all the important things. There are books about how to create atomic habits.

Joey Robert Parks shared about how he HAS to be obsessed with making sure his morning happens just so or his whole day goes off the rails.

Amanda Bolos and I talked a little bit about how you might know you’re taking something too far when it becomes so rigid that the thought of not doing it is stressful or even causes anxiety.

And there is outside reinforcement that can push a routine too far. People saying, “You’re so good. You’re so disciplined. I wish I could be that disciplined.”

Royce Gomez-King brought up TikTok and how easy it is for that to drag you down a rabbit hole. (I was on Grappling with the Grey recently talking about how TikTok is designed to be addictive).

There are certainly things that need to be habits and routines to keep life running smoothly. Based on this conversation, it is easier to slip out of a good habit than it is to undo a bad one. Joey mentioned noticing what happens right before the thing that isn’t working. Sometimes that is a good indicator.

How do you know if your have a healthy routine or an unhealthy obsession?

Connect with the panelists:
Royce Gomez-King: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roycegomezking/

Owner at Your Start up Coach – where she a marketing strategist and social media

Amanda Bolos: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-bolos-a77940262/

With a bachelors degree in psychology, Amanda runs an online fitness coaching business specializing in serving women post disordered eating achieve their fitness and health goals while creating a more sustainable lifestyle.

Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He has Written 32 books. 29 as a ghost writer Known for listening deeply to others, giving structure and meaning to their stories, and lending his words as the occasion calls for it.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities, dignitaries and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#obsession #atomichabits #badhabit

Friday Apr 07, 2023

Do you think bullies at work are aware they are bullies?

Friday Apr 07, 2023

It is hard to put ourselves in the shoes of someone else and that is what I’m asking the panelists to do with this question.

I didn’t share this story during the conversation but I think it is relevant:

When I was in junior high there was a group of four of us; me, my brother just younger than me and our two best friends, who always knew the answers in Bible class (it was a very small K-8th religious school). We were rewarded for that by the teachers and parents and looked up to by all the other kids.

I never thought of the four of us as bullies. But my middle sister (six years younger than me) remembers us have “the power” in the school.

I wonder how that translates to the workplace. Do bullies realize they are wielding power and intimidating people?

Chelle Shapiro started us off on an empathic note by wondering what happens to someone that turns them into a bully.

Catherine Fitzgerald added that she think bullying behavior comes from a deep seated feeling of unworthiness and that it is unlikely that the person doing the bullying is thinking about the receiver at all.

Atif Agha brought up a really good point about the role workplace culture plays in bullying. Are the bullies being rewarded for the success they achieve by being toxic, putting other people down or holding them back?

He also said he thinks most bullies do know what they are doing but they have reasons and are able to justify it to themselves and maybe to others.

About halfway through this conversation I asked the follow-up question – what is bullying? That might need an entire conversation on its own.

Atif gave a pretty clear definition and juxtaposed it to competition.

Do you have a clear definition for what bullying is and do you think that bullies in the workplace know they are being bullies?

Connect with the panelists:
Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Catherine Fitzgerald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-a-fitzgerald/

Is a writer, speaker, certified coach, and founder of Brass Tacks With Heart-executive coaching. She helps founders, owners, and C-Suite Executives and their teams to build businesses that fuel their lives, not consume them.

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and author of the book, Loving yourself isn’t selfish.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#bullying #workplacebullies #bulliesatwork

Thursday Apr 06, 2023

What does “communication” actually mean?

Thursday Apr 06, 2023

“They didn’t communicate well.” “We need to get better at communication.” “Send a communication.” “There was a lack of communication.”

The word gets tossed around A LOT. You can bet it will be part of the problem anytime something goes wrong.

It seems like it should be pretty clear what it means. But are we all reading the same playbook?

The short answer we came up with was transmitting information either verbally, nonverbally or both from one person to another.

Who is responsible to making sure a communication is clear? That was a bit muddier. Ideally both parties but ultimately it is whoever cares the most. And sometimes that means we think we understand when in actuality we don’t.

I talk about that problem when I give the presentation, “Why What You Said Isn’t What They Heard” and in the five hour over five weeks course “Better Conversations.” (Message me for details for either.)

What does “communication” mean to you and who do you think is responsible when it goes sideways?

Connect with the panelists:
Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#communication #conflictresolution

Wednesday Apr 05, 2023

What are the benefits/risks of a leader putting their employees ahead of their customers?

Wednesday Apr 05, 2023

This conversation was not at all about what I thought it would be.

We started off with Rick Alcantara saying he believes the only way to be successful is for leaders to put their employees first.

Strong start. I agree. You’ve likely heard me say that it is a problem when companies expect their employees to treat the customers better than they (the employees) are treated.

Then Kim Clark talked about DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) and how having an organization that is inclusive will make it more likely that your employees will be better at serving a diverse customer base.

“Fix the inside to serve the outside.”

Stewart Wiggins picked up the thread by reminding us that taking care of employees isn’t just about compensation. It is always about giving them the authority and empowerment to make decisions and help customers.

He added that there needs to be balance between supporting customers and taking care of employees.

I believe the saying “the customer is always right” leads to employees being treated worse than customers are treated and that leads to employees who don't want to provide good customer service because they're not respected.

You have to be willing to trust your employees more than you fear your customer.

Do you think the conversation we had was about the question I posed or was this about something else?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Kim Clark: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deicommunicationskimclark/

She is a Speaker & Consultant helping communicators and content creators learn and apply Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion to engage leaders & employees. She is also the Co-author of Amazon Best Seller the Conscious Communicator

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities, dignitaries and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#DEI #TheCustomerIsAlwaysRight