Quick Hits

How to give someone really bad news?

Philip Tate kicked us off with a story of someone doing a terrible job of delivering the news that someone was being let go from their job. If nothing else awful people can serve as a bad example.

 

Camille Diaz added that she believes that giving someone bad news and then trying to comfort them by saying, “everything happens for a reason” is simply horrible. It takes away your power and is telling you not to feel however it is you feel or ask any questions. Just accept and deal.

 

Kevin Wash likes to consider how bad is the bad news, not from his perspective but from the perspective of the person he has to tell. It could be a bigger or (if you’re lucky) a smaller deal than you think. And then, be matter of fact. Don’t embellish or try to soften. Just say it like it is and then move on to the practical stage of what happens next.

 

Near the end Camille and I talked about how waiting to give bad news make it worse. Philp summarized it really well, “Tell it first. Tell it all. Tell it now.”

 

Have you ever had someone give you bad news in a really awful way or do you have any tips for delivering bad news well?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

 

Camille Diaz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillediaz/

She is an Optimization Coach. creating custom systems and processes you’ll love so you can do it, stick to it, and get lasting results.

 

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

Why are we our own worst critic?

Cole Galloway started us off by saying it is easy to be our biggest critic because we know all the “bad” stuff about ourselves. We’ve been around for all the mistakes. But he added that we can also be our own biggest fan by remembering all the good stuff too.

 

Lisa McDonald pointed out that we aren’t taught to look at the positives. Being your own critic is kind of accepted but if you are your own biggest fan people are going to complain about you being too proud, bragging and being full of yourself. It is an interesting dichotomy to consider.

 

Coach M J Tollan then juxtapositioned (that’s not a verb but I’m using it that way anyway) the expectation of not bragging too much and social media where it is all bragging all the time to the point of people creating a façade of having the perfect life.

 

For me, I learned to talked to myself they way I was talked to and I have had to unlearn that as an adult.

 

Why do you think it is so easy to be critical of ourselves?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

 

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

 

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

Is being kind for selfish reasons still kindness?

Tim Hawkes started us off strong by talking about fighting against selfishness and even Catholic guilt. And that a kindness is kind if it delivers a benefit. Whether it is selfish or not doesn’t matter.

 

Dave Roberts agreed that there can be ulterior motives to being kind; suggesting that if someone is trying to improve their status in the world by doing something for someone, that isn’t kindness.

 

Atif Agha brought in the nuance that “selfish” has a negative connotation but doing something for someone that brings you self-enrichment isn’t negative. However, a backhanded favor isn’t a kindness.

 

My thoughts were – it doesn’t have to be bad for me to be good for you. I don’t believe in altruism. If you are kind to be manipulative, that isn’t kindness.

 

How do you think kindness and selfishness are related?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

 

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems.  He is in the UK

 

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

Is it ever okay to take revenge?

Dr Laura Dowling started us off a little differently this time by reading from her book about the dark side and the light side of taking revenge.

 

Sara Oblak Speicher then took us in a direction I had not thought about – the desire of an athlete to “revenge” a loss, which offsets the work of practicing and drives the desire to play harder. She also related it to the feeling you get when you’re told you can’t do something: “Oh yeah, watch me.”

 

Mohan Ananda looked at revenge from an angle similar to how I did, as retaliation or retribution. He then talked about personality traits, cultural beliefs and social orders that can be part of the desire to take revenge.

 

After defining revenge and talking about why someone might use it, we had differing ideas about whether or not it is okay.

 

What do you think? Are there different types of revenge and is it ever acceptable?  

 

Connect with the panelists:
Sara Oblak Speicher, MBA: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraospeicher/ 

Former international athlete, Life coach, and transformational expert

 

Dr. Laura Dowling: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-dowling-dm/

She is an author, keynote speaker, coach and scholar specializing in leadership and how to use neuroscience for improved outcomes.  She has 25 years of experience in corporate leadership and 15 years as an adjunct professor.

 

Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/

Scientist, lawyer, serial entrepreneur, and author of the book, Autobiography of an Immigrant. Which has been translated into multiple languages. He is passionate about helping people succeed in business

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

What makes something a basic human right?

This conversation was hard and is as close to a political conversation as Quick Hits has ever been. Human rights is a touchy subject in general, but trying to figure out what makes something a basic right, that needs more than 10 minutes.

 

Kevin Wash started us off strong with the idea of anything that preserves human dignity.

 

Gary Fredericks added taking care of people and brought up healthcare (a charged topic here in the US).

 

Christopher Jerjian talked about rights versus needs and how you define the similarities and differences in those two things.

 

Then I said something that seems straightforward but could be hugely controversial: You shouldn't be allowed to create laws or rules that tell me what I should do with myself.

 

I knew when I said it, we were heading in to muddy waters. We mentioned transgender, abortion, prostitution, selling your organs, homosexuality.

 

We recognized that if you have the ability to move (go to a different place), you can take more control of your life by going somewhere that has laws that allow you to live the life you want. 

 

The four of us did a great job of having a challenging conversation about a subject that could go sideways very easily.

 

Now I ask you – what makes something a basic human right? Who gets to decide?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/

Commercial real estate for 35 years he focuses on creating spaces for small businesses

 

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

 

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

 

What does it mean to be snobby?

Being snobby is so insidious it is viewed as entertainment on reality TV. We inherently know what it means, but could you define it? Do you know when you are being snobby?

 

Those are some of the questions I asked today’s panel.

 

Fallon Siniscarco took the first crack at defining it, suggesting that is has to do with thinking you are better than someone else. And even more, that you have a superiority over them.

 

Rick Alcantara agreed, adding in that snobbiness also has something to do with cliques; who is in, who is out and looking down on people.

 

We didn’t mention it in the conversation but listening back to it, I feel like there is a sense of entitlement that goes with being snobby. As we did say, “I am special and you are not.”

 

What does “snobby” mean to you? What behaviors would cause you to think someone was being snobby?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

 

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/  

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

Does being happy reduce drive and motivation?

This conversation started in a very different direction than I expected.

 

I asked the question because and athlete client and I were talking about how the angst of wanting more or to be better if motivating.

 

That made me wonder if happiness and contentment were related to a lack of motivation.

 

All three of the panelists said no. That they thought happiness was a driver for being MORE motivated.

 

When I asked about the athlete situation Michael Goldberg talked about his experience as a boxer and how it is possible to be both happy and want to out-point his competitor.

 

Bonnie Sussman-Versace then asked what angst means. For me it is a lack of contentment. But then I started to wonder if I should have asked a different question.

 

Stewart Wiggins then tied the two things together by talking about the need for angst so you can do your best and achieve your goal which creates happiness.

 

There is something about happiness, complacency versus having enough discontentment to still be driven.

 

What do you think? Does being happy create a comfort that keeps you from driving forward?

 

 

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

 

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

 

Michael Goldberg: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megoldberg/

He helps Financial Advisors, Agents, & Brokers Generate More Referral Business. Is the Founder of THE Networking Group and is a fellow TEDx Speaker and author.

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

What is the effect of unreciprocated friendship?

I don’t know why but I did not expect my panelists to have had so much personal experience with this question. The fact that each of us has been in a situation where our friendship was unreciprocated makes me wonder if it happens to everyone.

 

And if it happens to everyone, does that mean everyone does it? (a question for a different conversation)

 

Joey Robert Parks started us off by sharing a story of a friendship he thought he had that was ended abruptly.

 

Racquelle Pakutz followed him up by saying she is seeing a similar thing happening to her daughter right now and she is seeing the animosity and resentment that builds up when you give to a friendship but don’t get anything back.

 

Justin Dorsey brought in the idea that some people say you shouldn’t have expectations in friendship but that that isn’t really possible. It is human nature to need reciprocation and balance. He also brought up that social media has made it easy to be a “looky-loo” and stay in a surface friendship, which makes it hard to develop a real friendship with someone.

 

Have you ever been in a one-way friendship? What was the effect for you?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Racquelle Pakutz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/racquelle-pakutz/

Owner of Zen Freight solutions where they do 3rd party transportation, the Founder of the podcast Trucker Talks Live, and an author who just released her second book, Unleashing Your Soul Level Magic

 

Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/

Lead HR consultant at Employer Flexible where they work with small to mid-sized companies. He has a Passion for People.

 

Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He has Written 32 books. 29 as a ghost writer Known for listening deeply to others, giving structure and meaning to their stories, and lending his words as the occasion calls for it.

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

Is having a good “poker face” a good or bad thing?

As with many of the topics we talk about here the answer to this one is – sometimes but not always.

 

If you are playing poker or involved in a negotiation, it might be ideal that someone not be able to tell what you are thinking.

 

But in everyday life, micro expressions are part of how we unconsciously decide if we can trust someone (I shared a relevant story during the conversation).

 

If you are in leadership and you never show any emotion, people are going to be warry of you without really knowing why.

 

And the flip side can also be true. During a tough time, people look to their leader to be calm and focused. The last thing you want is someone who is freaking out. In that case, having a bit of a poker face it a good thing.

 

What do you think? Is having a poker face a good thing, something worth cultivating or a bad thing?

 

Connect with the panelists:
Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

 

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz (“knee-shadow-wits”): https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

 

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics 

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

 

 

If someone’s intentions were good but the outcome is terrible, was it a good or bad thing?

If you have never been a panelist on Quick Hits, you likely don’t know that saying the names for the introduction is hard for me. Even easy names can trip me up. It once took me five tries to say “Christina” correctly.

 

It’s a good laugh for everyone and I just edit it out.

 

But this time Tim Hawkes had to call me out. My intention was good. I had practiced Francesca Zampaglione’s last name and I nailed it on the first try. But her first name, nope. I could not say it.

 

After we finished the conversation Michael Davis told me I should leave it in. Since my struggle with saying names doesn’t add value to the discussion, I edited it out. I added the 20ish seconds on the end in case you’d like to enjoy laughing with us (at me?).

 

How much do you think intention plays in the result of an outcome?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems.  He is in the UK

 

Michael Davis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldavisspeakingcpr/

Founder of Speaking CPR where he helps business leaders and speakers improve their presentations and speeches

 

Francesca Zampaglione: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tofrancesca/

She runs a brand and image company called Dressed Smart and is the host of the podcast Office Flip Flops.

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com