Quick Hits

What makes feelings authentic?

All feelings are valid and no one can tell you your feelings are wrong. However, that doesn’t mean the feelings you are having are related directly to what is going on in the moment.

 

Sometimes we have old stuff/trauma that creates a disproportionate emotional response. How do you catch that? And if you do catch it, what do you do?

 

And what about people who are so unhappy in their lives that they want to run away from their feelings with drugs or alcohol? How can we help them?

 

 I knew when I suggested this topic it wasn’t going to be an easy one. Most of us don’t have a great connection to our feelings and the affect they have on our lives and decisions.

 

Thankfully, Rabbi Yonason Goldson, Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman and Coach MJ Tolan were willing to dive into these murky waters. And I think we had a really good conversation.

 

What do you think? Are all feelings authentic? And if they are actually from an experience rooted in the past, how might you notice?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Rabbi Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rhonda-bompensa-zimmerman-138aa3b/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#Feelings #authinticity #traumaresponse

What do you need to be true to feel engaged in a project?

This is one of those topics that doesn’t get enough brain time. We get into projects and we either find ourselves really interesting and excited to be there. Or the passion dies and we either leave or trudge along not really caring about the outcome.

 

But what makes the difference?

 

Stewart Wiggins and Jim Tam have lots of experience doing projects under different types of leaders and with an assortment of outcomes so I thought they would provide some great insight into what caused them to be engaged… or not.

 

The summary we came up with was:

• To understand where the project is going (end goal to avoid scope creep)
• To be kept in the loop about what is happening
• A management team who listens and makes adjustments based on the feedback they hear
• For the project to be appropriately resourced (Right budget. Right people)
• There has to be appropriate personal gain

 

We shared some stories about projects we’ve been on or backed out of and why. I enjoyed the emergent nature of this conversation and it helped me better understand why some projects frustrate me more than others.

 

Listen in and then let us know, what do you need to feel engaged in a project? Did we miss any important points?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#ProjectManagement #engagement #invested

 

How do you overcome nervousness?

This conversation is Quick Hits number 427. I still get nervous before I record. Will I say everyone’s name right? Do I know the topic? Will I be able to facilitate a smooth discussion?

 

Here are a few things that came out of this conversation:

 

Fayaz Nagoor Shaikh kicked us off by offering four tips:

• It's okay to be nervous.
• Prepare for the audience.
• Crack jokes
• Tell stories

 

Racquelle Pakutz takes a little different approach using breathwork and affirmations to help her manage a nervous thought loop and then checking in with someone she trusts to ask how she is being seen to compare that reality to how she feels like she is being perceived. 

Stewart Wiggins echoed being prepared and added that having the ability on confidence to be able to pivot if you need to. He also likes to start out with a silent scream – letting all the nervous energy out so he can move forward confidently.

 

We also agreed that taking an improve class in college had been really useful in helping us learn to think on our feet.

 

Towards the middle of our conversation, we realized that the nervousness we feel for doing things like public speaking is really different from the feeling we get around medical or dental procedures (I think that is beyond nervous and into anxiety).

 

Do you have things you do regularly that still make you nervous? How do you manage it?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Fayaz Nagoor Shaikh: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fayaznagoor/

He is a Learning transformation expert and a people-focused leader, building organizational capabilities through innovative, human-centric solution design

 

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business

 

Racquelle Pakutz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/racquelle-pakutz/

Owner of Zen Freight solutions where they do 3rd party transportation, the Founder of the podcast Trucker Talks, and an author and will be releasing her second book, Unleashing your soul level magic, in march

 

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Concierge High Performance Psychologist providing luxury level support to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities, dignitaries and athletes as well as the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#nervous #presentations #publicspeaking

 

What is entitlement?

When I asked this question, I thought we would talk about people assuming life owed them something. And we did discuss that.

 

But we also talked about how people ARE entitled to equal treatment and if we see someone demanding they be treated better than or get something above and beyond that is taking away from someone receiving basic respect and fair treatment, when and how do we step in.

 

Karen Loomis opened the conversation by firm, and I think correct, assessment that you can’t talk about entitlement without talking about race. Human decency is something every human being is entitled to and has the right to demand.

 

Chris Jerjian shared that he arguably grew up privileged and that part of becoming an adult is recognizing that the only thing you deserve (above human decency) is what you earn.

 

We even talked about “Karen’s” (typically women who are have melt down temper tantrums in public because they are somehow being wronged). Brandon Mahoney made it clear that when he sees someone going off on someone (why does it always seem to happen to food service workers) he does feel the need to step in.

 

This was a very different conversation than I thought we were going to have and I’m thrilled with how it turned out.

 

What do you think entitlement is and how do you respond when you see someone behaving like a Karen in public?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandoncmahoney/

Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

  #QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#entitlement #spoiled #equalrights

Certainty is not a sign of credibility. How do you tell the difference?

Have you ever had someone be so absolutely certain about something that you backed down even though you were pretty sure they were wrong?

 

We didn’t get into in this conversation but that is how a narcissist makes you question reality. A healthy person has the ability to wonder if they are wrong. To question and to learn.

 

We are hardwired to believe someone when they are really confident.

 

There are MANY examples involving obscene amounts of money to show that someone being certain doesn’t make them credible.

 

I had the opportunity to ask Rick Alcantara, Dr Bob Choat and Simon Coles how they navigate when to believe someone and when to discount their certainty.

 

Simon made the point that real experts enjoy being given the opportunity to share their thought process. People who don’t really know what they are talking about are going to respond to being thoughtfully questions with an emotional outburst.

 

So even if you aren’t an expert in a field, you can learn if someone really is by how they respond to being asked to explain how they came to their decision. 

 

How do you offset the human norm for just accepting confident certainty and a default sign of credibility? Do you think people are doing enough critical thinking in today’s world where everyone can have an equally loud voice on social media? 

 

Connect with the panelists:

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/  

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#narcissism #confidence #credibility

 

 

 

How would you notice if you were people pleasing? What would you do about it?

Most people are kind and want to do as much as they can to be helpful, whether that means saying yes to doing extra things at work, helping out a friend or even texting back and forth with someone.

 

But there are times when we suddenly realize that we feel like we are being taken advantage of. That our kindness is being taken for granted.

 

Or maybe we don’t really want to do the thing but feel awkward or guilty about saying no.

 

I wondered how other people noticed when they might be doing something for reasons other than actually wanting to.

 

Frank Galindo started us off by saying he tries to pay attention to when he is saying yes all the time without thinking about if the other person is even considering that it might be causing him stress.

 

Chandima Dutton shared that asking questions is a great way to create some distance between their ask and your answer. The more you understand about what they need the better you are equipped to know if it is something you can, should or want to do.

 

During the conversation I realized that I notice I need to be careful about people pleasing when I get a text or email from someone and I’m not happy to hear from them.

 

Near the end of the conversation Douglas MacGray pointed out that sometimes you are willing to go out of your way, give more than you otherwise might, because you want to help and that isn’t the same as people pleasing.

 

What about you? How do you notice when you might be people pleasing and what do you do about it? 

 

Connect with the panelists:
Chandima Dutton: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chandimadutton/

Douglas MacGray, J.D., C.F.P.(r): https://www.linkedin.com/in/dmacgray/

Francisco "Frank" Galindo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frankgalindo-mba/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#peoplepleasing #sayyes #selfcare

 

Where is the line between deprioritizing something and feeling lazy for not getting it done?

I too often hear horror stories of bosses who want everything to be a priority. Do it all and do it all now.

 

That just isn’t a reality.

 

If you are going to create priorities you have to be able to say that somethings just aren’t as important as others.

 

There have been times in my life when I felt guilty or was shamed for the things I didn’t get done. Sometimes they were things I really felt like I should do.

 

I shared one during this conversation. I met someone who gave me several tips of things I should do to make my LinkedIn profile better. I wanted to do them. But after moving them from list to list, I realized it wasn’t a priority.

 

I still have the list saved on my desktop so I can find it easily if (when?) it become important enough to get bumped to the top of the list.

 

I felt (still feel) guilty about it. I’m sure they could be useful things.

 

But, I have let it go to do other things like schedule and facilitate Quick Hits conversations, talk to clients and have Powerful Conversations with potential clients.

 

I wondered how other people deprioritized and then managed the guilt around it. Fortunately, Bill Dolan, James Lee and Atif Agha were willing to share a look behind the curtain on how it works for them.

 

How do you choose what to deprioritize and then do you feel guilty about it? We would love to hear your strategies.

 

 

Connect with the panelists:

Bill Dolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/billdolan/

James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#prioritize #listmaking #getstuffdone #letitgo

What is trust?

Trust – it’s a word we throw around all the time. Trust is earned, lost, broken, given. There are all manners of engaging with trust.

 

But what IS it really?

 

I certainly wasn’t sure so of course I had to ask a Quick Hits panel to weigh in.

 

Tim Hawkes from Unlimited Potential started us off by saying that it had to do with consistency. That you can even trust your enemy to do certain things.

 

I countered by noting that in the vernacular we say, “I don’t trust them” to mean “I know they will do something bad for me.”

 

Jim Tam from Korn Ferry talked about intentionality and being trustworthy because trust is worth something.

 

There was a bit of conversation about trusting the sun to come up but I said that I feel like trust has to have a of possibility of being broken to exist.

 

I edited out A LOT of silence and pauses in this conversation because we needed time to ponder and think about the ideas and questions we brought to the table.

 

Overall, this is exactly what Quick Hits are meant to be. People coming together with our life experience and sharing our thoughts about something that doesn’t have a “right” answer. Thanks for the awesome conversation guys!

 

What do you think? What is trust to you?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#Trust #brokenpromises #trustworthy

How do you judge if you’re making a difference?

This conversation followed off of our conversation about how to keep from becoming disheartened. (https://youtu.be/yzsDuDMLyLs).

 

A lot of this discussion centered around feeling like we don’t get to say, “Hey look at me. I made a difference.”

 

And that is fair.

 

But we also talked about how, when someone who we are serving says, “You made a difference for me” we are quick to discount it. Or if we are willing to hear it, we then make that thing, which we had to really work to achieve, the bare minimum of what we will accept from ourselves.

 

Near the end of the conversation both Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman and Ian Hendry shared immersive experiences they have done with groups that really helped them see the positive impact they were/are having in the world.

 

Dr Cole Galloway was excited to give them a try (I am hoping he will follow up with us and let us know how it went for him).

 

I will add, I did one of them in grad school and was NOT a fan.

 

If you have done either of those experiences (or something similar) I would love to hear what you thought of it. Was it profound or awful?

 

 

Connect with the panelists:

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rhonda-bompensa-zimmerman-138aa3b/

Dr Cole Galloway, PT, PhD: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Ian Hendry: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-robert-hendry/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#makeadifference #bethechange #takecredit

 

 

How do you keep from becoming disheartened when things repeatedly don’t go well?

Disheartened, dejected, despondent. There are times when it feels like life as a whole is just not working. When I feel like that it gets worse when I start comparing myself to other people.

 

Why is their life so great? What are they doing right that I’m doing wrong? Why can’t I make this work? Surely this can’t be this hard.

 

It can spiral into “I’m a failure. Why do I bother.”

 

Dr Cole Galloway has an interesting strategy. He agrees with the voice in his head and says, “Yeah. You’re right. It’s too hard. You should just quit.”

 

(Personal note from me to you – if you have suicidal thoughts, do not use this strategy. The voice in your head is not to be trusted. Please seek a more reliable source for context and support. Including messaging me.💛) 

 

This often does one of two things.

 

You might actually stop doing something that genuinely isn’t working and pivot to something else.

 

Or you realize the thing is REALLY important to you and you double down to make it work. 

 

Ian Hendry reminded us that looking at how far you’ve come rather than just at how far you still want to go can be super helpful.

 

Dr Cole asked a great question – HOW? How does that work. How do you not discount your progress?

 

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman suggested journalling and shared a story from a journal she recently found while cleaning her office.

 

My suggestion was to believe other people when they tell you what a great job you are doing rather than discounting it.

 

How do you keep from becoming disheartened? How can the people around you best help when you do?

 

Connect with the panelists:

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rhonda-bompensa-zimmerman-138aa3b/

Dr Cole Galloway, PT, PhD: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Ian Hendry: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-robert-hendry/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

 

Want a summary of the Quick Hits I post every week, plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Just let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

 

 

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.DrRobynOdegaard.com

 

#depressed #lifehack #resilience #grit